Chatbots and Kids: What Parents Need to Know Now
Here's how to talk to your child about AI, starting in preschool. A free downloadable Parent Guide with some tips and conversation starters is included.
Chatbots are computer programs that use AI to tell stories, offer advice, provide information, or chat with you using text, voice, or video. Popular tools include ChatGPT, Snap's My AI, Replika, and Google's new chatbot for kids under 13 (!) called Gemini. These tools are being increasingly integrated into apps, games, and websites that kids use every day. A harbinger of things to come, Mattel and OpenAI announced a partnership, suggesting that soon Barbie will have a lot to say. I wrote about why chatbots are so appealing to kids in a recent post Kids and Chatbots: When AI Feels Like A New Best Friend and Diana Graber and I tackled chatbots and digital literacy in our recent Cyberwise Chat. The link to the video/podcast is here. The free, downloadable Parent Guide I made to accompany our chat is linked and described below.
This is just the beginning of the chatbot story, as the availability and sophistication of generative AI tools increase constantly. We waited too long to prepare our kids for social media. Let’s not make the same mistake again. Chatbots can influence how children learn, socialize, and view the world. While some are educational and support creativity, others can give misleading or just plain wrong information, but their human-like communication patterns blur the line between human and machine, and their responsiveness and the sheer volume of information make AI tools seem like authorities and trusted friends.
We all have the tendency to anthropomorphize--attribute human traits, emotions, and intentions to non-human entities. We do it to cars, toasters, and computers—and they don’t engage us in conversation. Anthropomorphizing is a common and natural response, driven by our reliance on social cognition and pattern-seeking as part of our survival instinct.
For kids, however, it is more complex as their ability to tell reality from fantasy doesn’t fully develop until early to middle childhood. This tendency toward magical thinking is one important reason why reinforcing chatbots as tools and not people from an early age is critical. Think about how often we personalize virtual assistants with names and gender pronouns.
But it’s not just for the little kids. Even when they reach middle childhood or beyond, kids are not immune to developing an emotional attachment to chatbots. Emotional regulation and critical thinking continue to develop throughout adolescence and into young adulthood. The prefrontal cortex is not fully mature until the mid-20s. So when a chatbot responds as if it were a friend, the effect of being 'seen and heard' is powerful. Kids who feel lonely or isolated are particularly vulnerable to developing over-reliance on emotional attachments to virtual characters.
Understanding how these bots work—and having open, age-appropriate conversations about their benefits and risks—can help kids recognize programming from personal relationships and learn to use AI chatbots safely and responsibly. The downloadable Parent Guide summarizes key ideas in tables and offers suggestions for starting conversations with your kids, regardless of their age.
Parent Guide Handout Contents
Parents’ most asked questions and worries about chatbots and kids
Are there different types of chatbots?
What are the pros & cons of different chatbots?
How much do I need to supervise my child's chatbot use?
When should kids be taught digital literacy?
What can parents do now?
What Red Flags should I watch for?
How to talk to kids about chatbots by developmental stage
Early childhood
Middle childhood
Early adolescence
Adolescence
Bottom Line: Talk Early and Often
AI interactivity—whether chatbots or behind the scenes—is here to stay. The goal isn't to ban it, but to help kids recognize AI as a tool and make sense of it. Chatbots may talk like friends, but they aren't human. They can be handy but they don't replace the need for real connection. The most powerful thing a parent can do is have open conversations that build a foundation of trust so that the parent becomes the go-to source for questions and issues. With age-appropriate boundaries, respect, and curiosity, families can turn chatbot use into an opportunity for learning and growth.
See https://www.cyberwise.org/chatbots to watch the video.
Amrita, thanks for always being so supportive!