Why Holiday Movies Combat Loneliness & Stress

Feel-good movies boost our positive emotions and sense of social connection

Photo: Mikolaiv Ukraine/Canva Pro

Key Points

• Holiday films elevate spirits and provide an escape from stress.

• Nostalgia from rewatching favorites kindles warmth and feelings of social support.

• Watch parties strengthen bonds, link generations, and create heart- and brain-healthy traditions.

• 4 tips to make the most of holiday movies and defeat Scrooge.

From Netflix and Disney+ to Hulu, holiday movies fill every streaming home screen, reminding us that it’s time for the Christmas holidays. Americans rank watching holiday movies as one of their favorite traditions, above tree decorating and cookie baking. I like to check out the lists of ‘most popular’ Christmas movies each year as an ersatz ‘needs’ barometer. Although much less scientific than the American Immigration Belonging Barometer¹, the movies are, nevertheless, an indicator of what flavor of feel-good is most in demand. With reports of a loneliness epidemic in the aftermath of the pandemic, it’s perhaps not surprising that we rewatch our favorite movies to rekindle our sense of connection and holiday spirit. Home Alone, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Love Actually, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and Elf top the lists of family favorites.

People often turn to their favorite programs when feeling lonely. Just thinking about a favorite increases positive emotions, decreases stress, and increases the sense of social connection ².  The holiday movie genre promises predictability and likeability, which contribute to their ability to reduce holiday stress. If you run out of old favorites, you’ll be happy to know there are over 100 new “feel good” holiday movies. Hallmark alone released 42.

The Recipe for a Holiday Movie

What are the ingredients for a holiday movie that lightens loneliness and relieves stress? Nostalgia, a magical setting, holiday tropes, archetypes, clichés, appealing characters, and a conflict centered on the longing for love, family, and purpose, with themes of hope and redemption all combine to boost our moods.  Positive emotions are restorative during stressful periods, enhancing coping resources such as finding benefits, reordering priorities, and ascribing positive meaning to ordinary experiences³. 

Nostalgia is a Psychological Resource

Holiday movies tap into tradition and ritual, triggering nostalgia for “the good old days” when things seemed simpler, kinder, and slower. Nostalgia increases perceptions of social support and fosters mental health by amplifying positive memories and recalling when everything seemed possible ⁴.  Holiday movies let us revisit that innocence, increasing our confidence while escaping our obligations, stressors, and realities and helping us reimagine our world as full of possibilities.

Escaping in Magical Settings and Holiday Tropes

Holiday movies can be an exercise in self-expansion. Identification with characters enhances the experience of the typical holiday movie locales, like snow-covered Vermont cabins or remote European castles next to quaint villages, activating dreams and heightening escapism. Even the fantastical Elf and the Grinch are journeys into other worlds. The emotional distance from our own reality can make the movies more comforting, the messages more meaningful, and our imaginations more engaged, transporting us more easily into the literal or metaphoric romance of the story. 

We revel in the simple plots because we recognize that holiday movies serve a different purpose than cinematic achievement. The genre is well-defined and grounded in archetypes. We don’t watch for intellectual stimulation; our expectations for a feel-good experience increase our motivation to suspend disbelief and emotionally engage. We expect the protagonist to be a good person at heart and the movie to confirm our cognitive bias that good things happen to good people. Even if the protagonists start selfish, like Scrooge, make bad choices like the father in Elf, or suffer setbacks like all the star-crossed lovers in Love Actually, we don’t have to worry because they will be redeemed and deserve good things by the end. We have confidence that the movie will end happily and tearfully, reuniting families and connecting lovers. Even the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes after visiting the Whos down in Whoville.

We are reassured by a happy ending for everyone (except a villain or two who deserve it). The resolution provides a psychological sigh of relief accompanied by the activation of the brain’s reward center.  The movies offer simple, if unrealistic, solutions to all our holiday stressors, such as family conflict, isolation, or financial pressures. But in doing so, they also let you know you’re not alone in your struggles.

The True Meaning of Christmas:
Connecting with Others

We all want to feel connected and “home” for the holidays. Holiday movies are social experiences. They trigger memories and shared times and emphasize our intrinsic desires and basic needs for belonging, acceptance, and love. And we are rewarded, whether it’s discovering unexpected romance in The Holiday, the mournful attachment of Jack the Pumpkin King in The Nightmare Before Christmas, or Kevin's reunion with his family in Home Alone.

Holiday movies provide connection in another way. They can be enjoyed by the whole family, introducing old or creating new family traditions. Sharing experiences enhances the strength of our emotional connections, linking generations ⁵.  Traditions are important, impacting our well-being by elevating the ordinary, directing our attention, increasing our mindfulness, enhancing our sense of control, amplifying our appreciation of the significant, and, most importantly, making us feel part of something larger than ourselves.

Heart- and Brain-Healthy Entertainment

Loneliness and stress are public health crises. I’m not saying that holiday movies are a cure-all, but don’t overlook the impact of positive emotions to lower stress and make us feel more connected. We reap physiological rewards from the predictable and recognizable stories from our childhoods to the happy endings.

Whether laughing, crying, or going “awwww,” holiday movies allow us to experience positive emotions. Positive emotions are cumulative, putting more psychological resources at our disposal and making us more able to combat negative emotions like worry, anger, and fear that raise blood pressure and increase the release of stress hormones. By contrast, positive emotions, such as joy, happiness, compassion, hope, and empathy, lower blood pressure and are linked with reduced risk for heart disease, healthier weight, better blood sugar levels, decreased risk of mental illness, and longer life ⁶.  Positive emotions improve how we react and feel and make us better partners, parents, friends, and citizens by increasing our confidence, resilience, empathy, and willingness to help others ⁷.

Even the most clichéd holiday movies can model behaviors that inspire hope and courage by focusing on internal growth and connection over superficial trappings.

How to Get the Most from Holiday Movies

• Focus on the positive emotions over silly plot points. Positive emotions, such as hope, happiness, the value of connection, appreciation, and gratitude, literally change your body chemistry and can make even the Grinch feel more optimistic and resilient.

• Allow the stories to inspire your possibilities and increase your appreciation of your strengths.

• Think about how the underlying message of hope and joy might shift your thinking, alter your behavior, or highlight new goals. The ‘true meaning’ of the holidays might be stepping away from the pressure to have a “perfect” holiday and focusing on spending time with people you care about.

• Give yourself permission to relish the emotions, even in the cheesiest. There are always deep emotions at the core, even when well hidden. Laugh at the jokes, yearn for love, and cry at the reunions. It can release pent-up stress from the holidays.

How to Deal with Scrooge-ish Tendencies

• Don’t be bullied by people who don’t like holiday movies. They can watch Bruce Willis blow something up in the other room (which is, by the way, a Christmas movie).

• Don’t compare yourself to the protagonist’s external trappings. The stories are not benchmarks of success but metaphors to inspire hope and courage. Be happy that a dog saved Christmas; don’t feel bad because you don’t have a super-talented dog.

• Don’t be the emotional ‘downer’ to others’ enjoyment by making fun of the movie or belittling the people who like them.

Holiday Self-Care

Increased stress, loneliness, and depression are common during the holidays. Even a joyous season can cause stress, whether it’s financial concerns, isolation, or unrealistic expectations for what the holidays are “supposed to be like.” In times of stress, self-care is important. Think of a holiday movie as a form of self-care—a minute to step away and make time for yourself. Whether we laugh at unrealistic plots, relate to the protagonist’s initial struggles, or revel in a happy ending, we benefit from the surge of neurotransmitter-induced good feelings that tap into our deepest emotions, adding meaning, increasing empathy, creating a sense of connection and warmth, and restoring our holiday spirit.

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Note: After Squid Game the Challenge (my last post), my faith in humanity was a little dimmed. Writing about holiday movies was my own form of self-care and let me reflect (yes, nostalgically) on some movie-related memories, like the time my girls used the cut-off branches from the bottom of the tree as fans and performed their rendition of Sisters from White Christmas. I’d love to hear about your holiday movie favorite memories.

References

1.         Argo N, Sheikh H. The Belonging Barometer. Over Zero/American Immigration Council; 2023.

2.         Derrick JL, Gabriel S, Hugenberg K. Social surrogacy: How favored television programs provide the experience of belonging. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2009;45(2):352-62.

3.         Folkman S. The case for positive emotions in the stress process. Anxiety, Stress & Coping. 2008;21(1):3-14.

4.         Newman DB, Sachs ME, Stone AA, Schwarz N. Nostalgia and well-being in daily life: An ecological validity perspective. Journal of personality and social psychology. 2020;118(2):325.

5.         Wen NJ, Herrmann PA, Legare C. Ritual increases children’s affiliation with in-group members. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2016;37(1):54-60.

6.         Fredrickson BL, Joiner TE. Positive emotions trigger upward spirals toward emotional well-being. Psychological Science. 2002;13(2):172-5.

7.         Zhao D, Raney AA. Exploring the effects of positive emotions and attribution on helping behaviors after exposure to meaningful and pleasurable movies. Communication Research Reports. 2023;40(5):261-71.